The Dream Life of Anne Ditmeyer

Very often expats living in Paris ask ‘how can I live here legally?’. Not always an easy answer. I am lucky to hold an EU passport, but those who aren’t as fortunate need to obtain a study or work visa, marry a Frenchman, or avoid the system and keep a very low profile. I don’t recommend the latter. There’s one such girl I have come to know who has been tested to the limit. And won. I praise Anne’s ability to live her dream life in Paris, pursue her passion for graphic design and communications and rise far above the slew of French bureaucracy attempting to block her path.

I’m not sure that living in 12m2 (that’s 129 sf) and on an extreme budget – at the age of 30 – are what one would typically consider the dream life, but I really can’t complain. My love affair with Paris has gone on for 10 years now. Although an on-and-off relationship, it has involved a semester as a study abroad student (arriving 2 days before 9/11), an academic year working as an English teaching assistant in a French high school, and most recently a Masters in Global Communications from the American University of Paris.

Another thing most people would not consider part of the “dream life” is paperwork. I’ve been lucky enough to have a flexible schedule here, because quite frankly I don’t know how I’d do it otherwise, as more often than not paperwork feels like a full-time job. It’s all part of the love-hate dynamic present in any relationship, I suppose. I go into every transaction with very low expectations – and a sense of humor – and this tactic has worked wonders for me. In fact, it is the most mundane moments of living in Paris that I love most.

During the month of August, while nearly all of France is on holiday, I found my limits for France being tested. After 2 years of being a student, my time was coming to get real. I was hoping trip home to the US earlier in the summer would give me answers, and it did – that I wasn’t ready to give up France just yet. Had I know what lied ahead of me, I probably would have had a different answer.

It took three trips to the Préfecture de Police for me to figure out even how to go about getting a visa to stay in France. This is a country that likes to categorize people, and unfortunately, I – by the nature of my work and being a foreigner – don’t fit into any of their boxes. At one location alone the woman had to ask three different people where to send me for my visa, as I kept perplexing them. Finally I found the place, was given the proper forms and an appointment to return 4 weeks later.

What lay ahead is something I’ve now tried to erase from my memory. Basically, it involved writing a 20-50 page busines plan in French (mine was 50) and collecting a boatload of rather obscure documents (many of which did not yet exist for me as I’m so new in their “auto-entrepreneur” system). To put this in perspective, as new to my freelance business I was working nearly full-time and picked up new clients during the month. So doing this paperwork was like a full-time job on top of an already full load. I had finished my Master’s thesis in March and this experience was far more painful than that. And believe it or not, writing a business plan from scratch, in French, was easier than collecting all the documents. (The documents involved such fun things as finding and paying 50 Euros to have my birth certificate translated into French, and spending 2 hours at the Tax Center – no, there was no line in August – as two women racked their brains as to how to give me a document that would work).

On the fateful morning of August 23rd, I went to the Préfecture. I recognized the woman helping me from a previous visit, and figured I was screwed and hopeless as I recalled our prior interaction. But there was a guardian angel sitting on my shoulder that day, as I was able to submit my complete dossier and successfully left with a temporary extension and the official visa in the works. After the stress of the month, I don’t think even now I have fully realized what I have accomplished. It really felt like “mission impossible” but I did it, I survived, and I didn’t even have to marry a Frenchman to live the dream life…

Congratulations Anne! You have certainly earned your key to the city. As for a Frenchman, who knows what the city of love has in store for you.

After successfully receiving her visa to stay in France, Anne spends her days working as a freelance graphic designer and communications consultant. Check out her impressive site! Anne is also a contributing editor for the popular blog, Design*Sponge, and Anne’s former 10m2 apartment is inside the pages of Grace Bonney’s new book “Design*Sponge at Home.” Anne’s blog, Prêt à Voyager, looks at the intersection of travel and design. Her “Unglamorous Paris” series explores the less than perfect sides of living in Paris. Keep an eye out for this design aficionado!

motherly love

On the occasion of mother’s day, considering I recently made a dedication to my own mother, I would like to honor my many friends who are new moms. Certainly one of the most important roles in a woman’s life. A few heartfelt thoughts about ‘being a mom‘ from the lovely mamas in my life!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Being a new mom….is the greatest and most natural sensation in the world – oh the love, love and more love!! I’m fabulously obsessed with my little “bout’chou”! – founder of Paris Popcorn, Nirit Sumeruk & Sienna

Being a mum definitely comes with its challenges but there are moments each day when my heart nearly bursts with love, pleasure and pride.  Every day I look at our little boy and feel like the luckiest person in the world…what could be more wonderful than that? – Kirsten & Conor

Becoming a mom has been the most overwhelming (physically, mentally, emotionally) and definitely the most all-encompassing feat I’ve ever attempted.  I’ve said again and again that I cannot believe that Regular People do this!  And even then they sometimes do it again!?  But when you’re in the thick of it and at these precious certain moments, you understand: it is, hands-down, the best thing that there ever was to do.  This precious person is YOU, only better – if that makes any sense.  You care about them more than you do yourself, you love them so much it physically hurts.  It’s hard to think of anything else, even and maybe especially when they are not with you…they become a part of you in the most inseparable and incredible way.  In motherhood, you give and finally live, what life has to offer. – Elena & Matias

Being a Mom asks you to be the best person you can be, every day, no days off.  And, in return, your child will smile at you each time you walk in a room, hug you anytime you feel blue and love you absolutely, without condition or judgement. – Mariel & Noémie

Being a mom is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done to date.  I now have an entirely different view of the world and the all of the mothers who make it look effortless, especially my own mother.  However, I know that the universe has it all figured out because on the days when I am so tired and I have not eaten anything or done anything on my to do list…there is always a moment when my son looks at me and gives me the biggest smile and I melt and I forget about anything other than how happy I am to be his mom. – Emily & Alan

The moment my son Teo was born I felt I became a mother. She never existed before. The woman existed, but never the mother. Being someone’s mother meant that my role in the world had changed – I wasn’t just the same old me trying to be a new, improved version. I as a mother, really and truly and forever, and the question was, what kind of person, what kind of mother would be reflected in my child’s eyes? – Khrystine & Teo

Having a baby is like falling in love- almost every day! It is not easy to balance personal goals and needs with babies. But ultimately you realize that jobs come and go, but you will always have that love in your life. – Karen, Elanur (left) & Meyra (right)

One of my first feelings as a new mom was an overwhelming sense of fear for how precious my babies are – being scared for how much I love has given way to a warmth for my whole family that goes deeper than anything I experienced before. – Rachel, Jacob & Oliver

Being a parent means knowing love without bounds and a happiness so profound it will take your breath away.  Being a parent is the single greatest thing I have ever experienced in my life. – founder of Sugar Daze cupcakes, Cat & Gisele

Simply put, having a child is the most wonderful joy I have ever experienced. I can not wait to wake up in the morning and see my son who radiates such love and enthusiasm for life. He is loved beyond belief. – Mary & Oliver

From the moment you know you are pregnant you love your baby but the moment that little person is born your heart multiplies to a size you never thought was possible. When she smiles or caresses my face as she falls asleep you think your heart might just explode out of your chest. Being a Mom is wonderful and scary in the best way possible! – Victoria & Lily Katherine

I think what I love most about being a mom is the complete intimacy I have with my boys.  It’s a definite challenge and the day-to-day of it is hardly “pretty” but there’s some true magic to it all. – Amy, Henry (left) & Jack (right)

Motherhood has changed my perspective on the world, the lengths I’m willing to take for baby piglet scares me & I have found an inner strength I didn’t know I had. – author of blog Piglet in France Sharon & her 11 day old daughter

the language of blogging

When I moved to Paris almost 18 months ago, I knew barely a soul. My one Parisian friend was living her own story in Tel Aviv and all forms of human comfort aside from my Italian, were back in NYC. I soon met a few ‘friends of friends’ and very slowly began building a social network. Feeling the need to reach out into the world, as I had done during my travels, I started a blog. Also simply because my story of love in Paris was too unique and beautiful not to share. And, I love to write.

What would I gain from this experience of blogging? More than I had anticipated. Not only am I able to share pieces of my life from across the sea, and in so doing keep in touch with family and friends from home, in the shared language of blogging, I have met many new ones. I must add that Twitter has had a lot to do with it!

In the very early days of my Paris blog it was a woman named Andi Fisher who first reached out and somehow I felt less lonely in this quest for a new life. Since then I have come to know Andi through her misadventures, one of them taking her to Paris last October where I had the pleasure, along with many fellow Paris bloggers, to meet in person. It was an honor! (And yes, Paris bloggers rule!)

I had a chance to speak with Andi about her life and experience of blogging… and she had a lot to say! I consider Andi a mentor when it comes to social media and blogging. Soon I will share her insights.

Since that meeting I have gotten to know many of these soulful and charismatic bloggers on a deeper level as we share the experience of Paris through our online journals. These ‘tweet-ups’ as they have come to be known, provide a forum in which to share frustrations and celebrations, find support and simply enjoy the company of others living what can often but not always be called the Paris dream.

Via our shared language, I feel more at home and have a deeper awareness of Paris and it’s people, than I had imagined I could in so short a time. Here are a few of the many faces from Sunday’s much anticipated ‘tweet-up’, organized by Priscilla of Weekend in Paris, who was doing just that…

Melissa of Prête Moi Paris, Beth Arnold of Letter to Paris and Lily of Context Paris

Bellanda of Bellanda’s Creations, Karen of Bonjour Paris and Monique of Entrée to Black Paris

Shannon of Je Ne Sais Quoi Blog and Forest of 52 Martinis

Opal of  Opal Blossoms, Sion of Paris (Im)perfect and Milla of Not Just Another Milla

Me, one of my Paris Collection bags, Bellanda and Priscilla of Weekend in Paris

Who have I missed? Until we meet again, may we continue to share the language of blogging…

Paris: year one

One year ago I left everything and everyone that had composed my life for nearly 12 years, and moved from NYC to Paris. I remember the moments leading to this day so well. The great anticipation mixed with nostalgia. The fear outweighed by excitement. I never once doubted or questioned my decision, and one year later I feel even more confident having followed my heart. 

The journey has been an insightful and often difficult one. As anyone living an expat life well knows, in Paris or anywhere. (I will refrain from getting into details, but oh the stories I could tell…) 

Here are my top 10 ‘rules to live by’, based on what I have learned thus far. In no particular order.

1. let go of expectations (or prepare to be disappointed)

2. learn humility (perhaps the most important lesson of all)

3. follow your instincts (trust yourself completely)

4. laugh at yourself whenever possible (otherwise you might cry)

5. learn the language to know the people and culture (still working on that…)

6. indulge guilt-free in the pleasure of local food and drink (without over-indulging)

7. take time to discover yourself (outside the context of work)

8. don’t be driven solely by the ego (period.)

9. appreciate the simple pleasures (never take them for granted)

10. follow your dreams (and believe in them)

sharing the {blog} love

It is almost one year since I began a life of love in Paris, and Love in the City of Lights was born. What a journey it has been! Little did I know what I would learn and who I would encounter along the way, and all the friends I would make in between.

Through the experience of sharing my life with fellow expats and even a few hopeful romantics, I have come to know Paris, its culture and its people more intimately. I still struggle to understand (and accept) the many French cultural nuances, but I feel much more at home and much less an outsider. For these fellow bloggers (and many others not mentioned), and my dear readers, I am very grateful. I share this love with fellow bloggers, francophiles around the world, and Paris expats.

One of my first virtual friendships was with Andi of Misadventures with Andi, who blogs about many of my favorite subjects including travel, culture, love and of course Paris, always keeping the conversation varied and interesting. I hope to meet in person on her next trip to Paris! 

On the topic of life in Paris, so many I love! Beth Arnold I have come to know and admire for her sophisticated and unprecedented Letter From Paris. Lindsey, of Lost in Cheeseland shares many an anecdote on life as an expat, often with humor and always with candor. For the latest in goings on in the City of Lights, Kim inspires with I Heart Paris. Many secrets and cultural happenings are revealed by Heather in Secrets of Paris. The stories and visual poetry by Nichole of little brown pen, living between Paris and NJ, always cause me to feel lucky to live surrounded by so much beauty. Though many don’t realize it until living here, Paris is indeed imperfect and Sion brings this to light in Paris (Im)perfect. Marjorie, who is neither French nor has ever lived in France, writes my inner French girl, describing the French art of living. That undeniable je ne sais quoi that is so inherently French!

Of the mommy club which I am not yet a part, but have several expat friends who are, Barbara writes a very real and witty blog about the experience of living and raising children in a foreign country in International Mama. As a super Mama and freelance writer, she also writes The Expat Freelancer to help expat writers find their voice and use it. Another saavy American mama with many a story to tell to aspiring expat mothers is La Mom.

On the topic of food, everyone knows (or should know) David Lebovitz for his appetizing site about all things food related and author of The Sweet Life. I met David at a sexy book signing and hope to cross paths again over crepes at Breizh Cafe. For those with a sweet tooth, Cat, otherwise known as Little Miss Cupcake, creates the most delectable cupcakes! About where and what to eat (as the amount of dining options can be daunting) a wonderful new site recently launched, aptly titled Paris By Mouth. Food porn anyone? Through a good friend I met Cynthia, a writer and adventurous foodie from LA who writes about exactly that in Adventure Eating. All that eating but where to drink? Forest keeps a detailed account of the tastiest cocktails and happiest happy hours in 52 Martinis. 

On the topic of travel, one of my favorites, there’s a blog I simply love which bridges the gap between France and Italy, both of which I now consider my homes. Robin, a travel consultant and writer with great travel taste, captures the essence of two of the most beautiful countries in My Melange. I am also a fervent follower of the travels of  Granturismo, Lara and Terence, as they travel for 12 months in 24 destinations. Instant nostalgia for my 2007 travels, 13 months in 32 destinations.

New York City will always remain home to me (considering I now have 3, and counting). To keep myself connected to this dynamic city I begin my mornings with a café creme and a cup of Jo, much loved blog by fashionista and new mommy, Joanna Goddard. There are many more NYC blogs I read, including the inspiring and design saavy my turtleneck by Catherine Mangosing of Brooklyn.

I’m looking forward to discovering many more blogs, meeting many more bloggers and fellow expats, and continued adventures and musings on life and love in Paris in year two!

the sexy city

I lived in NYC for 12 years, though barely can I consider the life I led to be that of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda or Samantha of Sex and the City, contrary to what anyone might believe, my Italian included. Perhaps a mix of Carrie and Charlotte on the best of days? Though Miranda, with her pioneering spirit lived only a block away from me in the Lower East Side, in the film that is. And don’t we all fantasize about  Samantha’s escapades, even just a little? I must admit, I did enjoy living vicariously through these stories while living my own more tame versions, all the while never succumbing to carousing the NYC streets in a pair of Louboutins. I’m proud of that, I might add.

Where Carrie’s love story concluded in the first film, my story began. Thus, Love in the City of Lights was born. 

Now, as Sex and the City 2 is due to premiere in Paris, I am curious to follow these ladies on their adventures continue. I cannot even begin to imagine how the story unfolds, this uniquely tangled web of love, lust and laughter, perhaps proving yet again that friendship (if nothing else) is forever. It appears that the entire world is curious as well. Here in Paris the ‘hot-spot’ Café Etienne Marcel (34 rue Etienne Marcel, in the 2nd) has been transformed into an even more sultry ‘Café Sex and the City’. I could hardly believe it! Are Parisians such die-hard fans of this fab four? And do they really believe that is how we women live in NYC? Perhaps that’s why most Parisian girls (or any girls for that matter) swoon when I mention NYC. Ah yes, the stories I could tell…

What really provoked my interest to venture to this cafe was not the NYC-style cosmopolitans and the trendy ambiance, but three of my favorite ex-pat authors. WH Smith, the English language bookstore in Paris, haven to many fellow ex-pats, was recently hosting an event as part of the launch of Sex and the City 2, creating their own ‘Foodies in Naughty Paris’ event. 

I was excited and honored to meet this trio, David Lebovitz, Alexander Lobrano, and Heather Stimmler-Hall, all in one room, with books to sign and stories to tell, and at such a ‘sexy’ venue! Ex-pat writers who followed their own unique paths, stars of their own Parisian dramas, in David Lebovitz’s case, often a comedy. I was hesitant to buy any more guide books on Paris as I regularly read these authors websites, and still have many Paris themed books at home yet to peruse, but I could not resist. Especially after speaking with each author and getting to know them on a more personal level. 

My growing collection of books now includes David’s heartfelt and humorous tales in The Sweet Life in Paris: Delicious Adventures in the World’s Most Glorious – and Perplexing – City, Alexander’s thorough guide to tastefully eating his way through this delicious city in Hungry for Paris: The Ultimate Guide to the City’s 102 Best Restaurants, and a ‘reference’ book every woman must own, Heather’s Naughty Paris: A Lady’s Guide to the Sexy City. 

As soon as I can put the books down and take a break from my own romantic escapades, I will venture to the cinema for a rendezvous with the NYC gals.

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